20 Ways My Kid Has Woke Me Up

As an expectant parent one of the most common phrases you will hear is – “Get all your sleep in now, because you won’t get any when the baby comes!”

And unfortunately, it is kind of true. (Although, the idea that you can somehow save up sleeping hours is nonsensical and annoying. I will sleep now, not because you told me too Belinda who works on the checkout at Asda, but because I’m 7 months pregnant and I’m frickin’ tired now!)

Even over a year later, I am still (luckily not often) disturbed from my sleep from a baby who wants feeding/changing/my attention…and here are just a few of the delightful ways in which said baby has done that:

Nice:

1- Cuddles

2- Kisses (Gentle headbutts lead by the mouth.)

3- Gentle patting

4- Singing (This is adorable.)

5- Giggling

Not so nice: 

6- Punches to the face

7- Poking,  mostly to the face.

8- Actual headbutts

9- Dribbling in my ear

10- Screaming

11- Crying

12- A combination of screaming and crying

13- A finger in my nose, mouth, eye socket

14- Soaking me with the teeth of a milk/water bottle

15- Unnecessary wriggling

16- Pushing

17- Kicking

18- Snoring

19- Throwing up in my face/hair and all over my pyjamas and clothes

And last, but by now means least…

20- Lying completely still and soundly asleep, and being so quiet my little mummy brain tells me something is wrong, leading me to jump to my feet and scramble to the cot.