Firstly…it has snowed! It has actually bloody well snowed!
Side note: I love snow, always have and always will, but snow does not love me and therefore I’m usually just trapped inside hoping that I don’t break my neck when the time comes to put my bins out.
Yesterday was miserable, so I’m extra glad that it has snowed overnight as it’s almost (just about) half made up for the awfully freezing weather we had yesterday.
Almost the entirety of the last two months have been spent held up in the house due to either one or both of myself and Mini Me being being sick. (Initially I had been cocky about not getting ill because of the flu jab…that didn’t last long.) Unable to spend any time with friends (over fear of catching the dreaded lurgy back from them, only to catch it from some other passing visitors – such as the postman) and running quickly out of craft ideas and Disney films to watch, we started to turn just a tab bit feral. We spent days in our dressing gowns, scavenging left over Christmas food from the kitchen so that we didn’t have to brave the outdoors and only bathing once we started to smell ourselves. (OK, that last one only really applies to me, as Mini generally NEVER smells as she has not yet been “blessed” with puberty.)
Needless to say, now that all traces of flu and cold seem to have disappeared from our household (let’s hope I haven’t just jinxed us), we couldn’t wait to get back out into the real world – Mini actually starts attempting to climb the walls if we stay in the house for more than three days at a time, and will cry whenever a guest leaves without taking her with them.
Yesterday was to be one of our first ventures out of the house since the new year that wasn’t just a quick pop to Spar for milk (and a microwave pizza to help me stay on top of my diet…new year’s resolution and all) and quite frankly, I wish we hadn’t bothered. Despite the fact that we were able to do a small food shop and replenish our stock of jaffa cakes, the weather was miserable and cold and although Mini wasn’t too bothered, and stayed happily cooped up within the protective bubble of her rain cover, I was battered by blistering wind and freezing cold rain.
We took cover in M&S, comforted by the idea of final reduction sale items and a luxury sandwich collection, only to find that the only remaining sale items were U, X and Y tree decorations and bed sets that you’d still have to sell your granny to purchase, and the cafe has stopped serving afternoon tea. And not just for yesterday, FOREVER!
“Right,” I said to myself, “we’ll just go get a little food shop and go home. Miserable bloody weather. Miserable bloody snooty M&S shoppers shaking their heads at me dragging my dripping wet umbrella around with me.”
Unfortunately, that was not the end of my pain. Coming out of Asda, I bee lined for the bus stop. There were no other push chairs waiting, lots of happy little old ladies mistakenly telling me what a lovely little boy I had and the bus was due in just over five minutes. Great! Or so I thought. Of course, that bus didn’t come. And then the next bus didn’t come. By the time the bus actually did come (which was not the bus that was due, but another bus that would not take me home but simply to another connecting bus in the town centre) the little old ladies had become rather grumpy and were now tutting at my choice of jaffa cake snack that I had given Mini to stop her having a full on (M&S lunch deprived) meltdown.
We made it into town, spending five minutes on a lovely toasty warm bus out of elements, without any more complaints from little old ladies or hungry toddlers and as we pulled into the bus exchange I thought “YES! There is our bus! There is a god after all!”
Alas, no. There is not a god, and if there is he (or indeed she) is a nasty piece of work, as that bus left without us, even after seeing us struggling to run towards it buggy in one hand, shopping in another.
Safe to say, by the time we actually made it home (an hour later) we had decided we didn’t like the outdoors and would need to spend another two months inside to recover!
New year’s resolution number two: Learn to drive.